#1 Parents who shamelessly scream at their kids in pulblic places.

We've all been there. Wandering (insert department store name here) aimlessly on an early Tuesday afternoon, when a small child throws a spectacular temper tantrum in the middle of the store. Some pass and politely avert their eyes, while others kick back with a lawn chair and a 6-pack. For whatever reason, this 4-year-old has had enough of the day's stressful events, and refuses to move another inch. Face down, fists pounding the tile, the child's screaming face turns every color of the rainbow before settling on a shade of dark purple. Now almost everybody walks slower than usual, heads turned, curious as to the source of the anguish.

Now comes the interesting part.

The parent, usually a 280 pound female, decides for whatever reason that reciprocating the child's actions (minus the face-down fist-banging) will somehow improve the already embarrassing situation. Clearly, screaming back will result in a more subdued, complaisant attitude from the child. The screaming match continues for a few minutes while the mother dishes out a mixture of curses and promised future punishment.

Faithful bystanders now have made sense of the situation in their heads, siding with the child, their rationale being "I would act like that too, if I had a mother like that."

What follows next is nothing short of abuse. The mother, in the eleventh hour, realizes that the public berating of her child is pointless. She then proceeds to grab the child by the most easily accessible appendage, and drag him/her out of the store with little or no regard to the dangers of revolving doors. Whatever body part the child loses in the event is collateral damage.

To all you such mothers out there: Take a parenting class. And then five more. Then some anger management courses, and star on a two-hour special with Dr. Phil.

Moral: If there's one thing I have learned from growing up in my home, it's that screaming is not the answer. It only makes things worse.

"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured."
Mark Twain

Get out of here, all of you. You're a waste of my time.

Whether you believe it or not, this is the most productive thing you've done all day.