#3 When someone tries to casually bring up bad news

So you're sitting on your couch wasting away your already unproductive life, equipped with a plastic guitar and a soda. You hear a distant crash, but your current state of mind has a somewhat ataxic effect on you and impedes you from acting on your vague curiosity. A minute later your friend staggers in your front door and sees you sitting there. The conversation goes something like this.

Him: Bro

You: ...yeah

Him: What's up ?

You: ...

Him: So...I drove here.

You: Yeah?

Him: Yeah

You: ...

Him: I just want you to know I love you. You're my bro for life, man.

You: Thanks...?

Him: You know something crazy?

You: Mm?

Him: Actually I'll tell you later

As it turns out, his crazy story was him downing seven shots of Bacardi at a friend's house, fighting his friend due to his belligerent drunken state, driving his car to your house, making your beloved cat a fine addition to his tire treads, and as a grand finale rear ends your car all the way to next Thursday.

All this unbeknownst to you, you step out your house, stepping gingerly around the vomit on the doorstep, and walk outside to find a scene straight from 2012. The intelligent dialogue continues:

Him: I tried to tell you inside, but you know...

You: ...

Him: I was gonna call to tell you I was coming...

You: Yeah you should do that next time. Preferably before using my cat to paint the driveway red.

Ok, now let's think about this. Besides your friend's obvious intoxicated state, what causes people to do this? Yes it's difficult to break the news, but blunt honesty, when used correctly can do wonders. Explore this scenario:

Him: Bro

You: ...yeah

Him: Your gd cat is all over the driveway.

See how easy? When we attempt to sugarcoat the truth, it doesn't make the news any easier to handle. So why do it?

It might be for fear of their reaction, the difficulty of admitting your mistake, fear of sending them into a state of cognitive dissonance, or (if it isn't your fault) the desire to spare their feelings.

In my opinion, no good ever came from withholding or distorting information. If honesty was practiced in a consistent manner by everybody, imagine the peace we'd bask in daily.

And there's a lesson to be learned from this.

So what do I suggest to all you typical, boring, law-abiding, society-conforming people out there? Nothing. Keep living your unhappy, conformist lives. Don't try to change anything, just accept the world is out of your control. Don't try anything new, don't be yourself, stay a subservient slave to the ultimate socialist whore. Leader of the free world.

Or stay tuned as I turn the world and the masses into a two-dimensional examination table.

Opening your mind one word at a time.

Alright get out of here, all of you. You're a waste of my time.

Whether you believe it or not, this is the most productive thing you've done all day.